Book Review - I am America (and so can you!) by Stephen Colbert

I know about the show “The Colbert Report”. It is a big Hit in US. But I never thought of watching it. I thought it was one other late late late shows. But after reading this book, I am gonna start watching the show. This book is freaking hilarious. It is pure mockery. Nothing but mockery. It is filled with really really offensive jokes. After the introduction, this book has a “How to read this book” page. Just read that page and you will get the feel of the book. I basically love sarcasm. (My fav character in F.R.I.E.N.D.S is Chandler Bing). This book is filled with sarcasm.

One of the many interesting things are the comments. You can find comments in the margins for the contents in the main page. It is actually distracting but I liked it. Very lively comments. When he talks about some personality, he uses their real name and the comment on the margin says “Names have not been changed. If carl cant handle it maybe he should find another church basement to dribble in. No one drives my lane without paying the toll". I bet you will laugh out loud. Every comment on the margin is similar to this. Lively and funny.

There is one other chapter on old people. In one place, he was discussing some serious issue and he added a quote there. Reading the quote i was really moved. When i looked the margin for his comments, this is what i saw "I made this quote up".

There is a chapter about sports. The name of the chapter when he begins talking about sports is “Sports”. But 2 pages down the line, he will “sell” the chapter to highest bidder (like most sports teams in US, which are owned by corporates and rich individuals. BTW, are you thinking about IPL now?) And after that, the chapter will be called “Chevron, the gas with Techron”. And 2 pages from that, he changes the name to "Kraft, creamy italian dressing". Every chapter is like this. There is some creative idea to make you laugh.

There is this chapter on immigrants and Higher education. Both these chapters are my fav in the entire book. In the higher education chapter he talks about resumes. According to the author, universities teach students nothing but to lie in resumes. This is how he says it. “One day in college you are bored in your class and make out with the Danish Exchange student next to you. And when you apply for a company, you tell in your resume that you carried out, ‘an independent research in a foreign tongue’.

And also in the higher education chapter, there is a page where he takes some modules from a typical university and gives his one line comments. Awesome. Just awesome. Few module names and Colbert’s comments in braces.

1. Introduction to Islam. (If you take this module, then the terrorists have won)

2. Woman on woman: literature of liberation (It is not what you think)

3. Introduction to Metaphysics (Nothing here you cant pickup by eating the wrong mushroom in a camping trip)

4. Ethnic stereotypes and the humor of cruelty (The professor will tell some hilarious jokes and you are not allowed to laugh)

5. Dance for Men (Go ahead. Break your mother's heart)

6. Carrer is poetry (Just move back in with your parents. Now)

There are many many more funny stuff in the book. But I do disagree in lots of his ideas, especially about old people, god belief, etc, etc. And also there are few things that make you frown. But the book is definitely worth reading. And I think I might buy this book. I almost forgot to mention, this is a New York Times Best seller.

Warning - if you hate sarcasm or if you get easily offended by sexual or racist jokes, then don’t ever read this book. This is not for the faint hearted.

KamalHaasan in Dasavatharam - 1

Easily one of the most expected movies this year. And the grand Audio release just increased the expectation levels.

Before going any further, i have to say, i am one of the Die-Hard fans of Kamal. He is one of the best actors in Tamil cinema. Actually one of the Best in Indian cinema. During his long career, he has done some pretty amazing acting. His knowledge in this field is vast than anyone else. He is a good singer. Very good director. Above all, he is one of the best screenplay writers. You name any department in film industry, from production till editing, KamalHaasan is quite comparable to one of the best in that field. One of the very very few poeple in Tamil Industry who have good taste and quality in their mind when they make movies. Lets leave personal life here. This is completely cinema.

Dasavatharam is quite promising. But to be honest, i expected a lot more from Kamal. First of all, i dont understand, why he should act in 10 different roles? My point is, if the 10 roles are not connected to one another, then there is no point why same actor has to do that. If you need someone to act as the President of America, find a suitable guy. Why go the unnecessary extra trouble of doing expensive make-up for that? If you dont want to stop there, why not go ahead and act all the characters in the movie and with special effects, you can still make a movie. Kamal can act as the lead lady of the movie, he can act as the villains. In todays technology anything is possible. Why not do that? i really dont see anyone asking this same question. Maybe, the answer is obvious, but i am missing to see it. If you think that is the reason, let me know. I will be glad to know the reason. It seems to me, 10 roles is something that they desperately introduce in the movie so that they can get an attractive number. i gotta wait and see the movie before saying anything else.

I strongly beleive that, if the story doesnt demand the same guy to do different roles, Kamal should not do it. Just because he is capable of handling different modulations, doesnt mean he should convert the movie into some guessing game. But the movie comes with a commercial banner. In that way, it is a good idea. But for Kamal this is not good enough.

The moment i heard about Kamal doing 10 roles, i figured the movie is going to be like "The man from Earth".(It is a great movie. I strongly recommend. this is the tagline for this movie, "What if Jesus is alive?"). the movie is basically about a guy who has never died. He lived through all the centuries and he changed his appearance according to the century he lived in. That is the story of the movie. I thought Dasvatharam is going to be something like this. But the story line is quite disappointing to me, personally. Kamal is one of the few people in Tamil industry, who is contantly following new trends. He has always adopted new ideas and technologies from the Hollywood.

The songs are quite ok. But not that great. But lets face it, most of Kamal's movie songs are not a big hit. (Talking about songs, can you name me one movie that Vijay has acted and it is a failure with respect to songs? Somehow, all his movie songs are good)

Anyhow, i am really lookign forward to the release of this movie. Lets see.

Global Warming

Recent Time Magazine cover
Special Green Issue

This is one of the biggest problems we are facing right now. This is not a rumor anymore. This is not a Myth. Robots taking over the world, is far in the future, if that happens. But Global warming is current issue. And this cannot be more real than it is now.

In just a few years time, Global warming is seriously going to affect the entire ecosystem. All the hugely populated coastal areas and the low lying lands will experience rise in sea level and constant floods. Global warming will result in melting of the Glaciers, which will also result in flood in the initial stage. But after 30 years, there will be huge scarcity for fresh drinking water. Predictions are that, 1 Billion people wont get drinking water by 2030. And this prediction is for Asia alone. Most of the fresh water rivers in Asia have their source in some glacier. Imagine India without Ganges. If water resources deplete, that is a death sentence. Science can help only a little in these extreme situations.

Effect of Global Warming in Arctic

Sea temperature will increase and marine life will be affected. Lots of agriculture products will become impossible to harvest. There will be a acute shortage for food. Lack of good drinking water will result in lots of diseases and other illness among living species. It is scary isn't it? It is about to get a lot worse. All this will happen in 2030 or sooner. Not too far, if we continue our current life style.

But we live our life as if we have another spare world, where we can shift if this one is totally destroyed. But nowadays, the awareness is comparatively high. If you still dont know about "Earth hour", then i am absolutely right in saying that we are so careless. "Earth hour" is a recent initiative, where people voluntarily switch off all the electrical appliances including Lights, PCs, etc, etc for 60 minutes. Most people don't understand the reason behind this. "Earth hour" is not to save the power during that 60 minutes. But it is just to give people a feel of how life will be in 50 years.

But i personally don't think this will help change anything drastically. Not many of us really care about all this. But there is a way. You know, in our house, we don't waste power. For example, we don't switch on fans, when it is not necessary. Frankly the reason is not to save the world. But to save money. (In middle class families every penny counts)

What is the lesson learnt? Global warming can be tackled only if we convert that into an economic issue. How do you think Singapore is so clean? Do you think it is because all the citizens are so good and considerate that they don't wanna pollute their country? Totally wrong. It is because of the heavy Fines. That is the most practical way to address Global warming. When you do this, there will be few other problems like double-digit rise in inflation, etc. But that is a lot smaller problem compared to Global Warming.

I firmly believe, when it becomes an economic issue, everybody will try to "save the earth". How can you convert it to an economic issue? Increase the oil price. Force everyone to reduce green house emissions. Give rebates to people who help in preventing Global warming, like Tax rebates, etc. That is the most practical way to address this issue. If you don't believe me, read this article in todays New York Times. Due to the increase in oil price (btw, today's Oil price is 126.04 USD per barrel, highest ever) there is a considerate increase in percentage of people using Mass Rapid Transits in US.

You cannot ask people to reduce the usage of oil for the world's sake. But when you double oil price, then everything will be fine. This might sound like a very scary idea, but trust me, better now than later. I am not totally wrong, am I ?

இளைஞர் இலக்கியம்

By Pavendar Bharathidasan

ஊரில் தமிழன் மார்பை தட்டி
பாரில் தமிழன் நானே என்னும்
சீரை தந்த தமிழே வாழ்க !
ஓரா உலகின் ஒளியே வாழ்க !

(prolly would have studied this in school. But then, i was just studying for marks. So didnt really understand any real stuff. Can you blame me?)

This book is a classic. My Tamil teacher used to quote this book all the time. These days i am really starting to like my mother tongue. This book is another step closer to understanding the glory of our past.

தொல் உலகுக்குள் அல்லல் அருப்பதென்
தோள் தோள் தோள் !
வல்லவன் என்னை வெல்ல நினைப்பவன்
தூள் தூள் தூள் !

Pavendar's book has both the classic and also revolutionary lines like the ones above. see the below one. This is my favorite in the entire book.

தமிழ்ப் பெண்ணே தமிழ்ப் பெண்ணே
தமிழை ஏன் படித்தாய் ?
தமிழ் "படித்தேன்" அதை உண்ணத்தான்
தமிழ் படித்தேன் நான்.

If you cant understand the above verse, please don't call yourself a Tamil. To me, English is just the language of communication. It can never ever replace your mother tongue. I certainly do want to learn English. But that is just another language. It cant replace Tamil. Be proud to be a Tamilian.

oil price - 113.79$ per barrel !!

This is today's(16 th April 2008) price. Comparing the price in the past 5 decades, this is the highest price. Even during the Gulf war, the price was not this high. The bad news, as said by my colleagues in WP, is "This is just the beginning." (It actually sounds like a tag line of some scary Hollywood flick).

There is a famous saying in our industry, "For every barrel of oil found, the demand increases by two". This is 100% true. If you ask me, it is quite less. From my end, it seems like the demand increases by three.

The oil price in the international market is based on basic Supply-Demand principles. The Kyoto protocol didn't create any kind of effect in US and the number of cars continue increasing. President Bush completely ignored the protocol but the US keep on stressing India and China to "decrease obsession" towards cars. (To me, it is totally unfair. But that is a whole different issue.) The point is, the consumption of Oil is increasing rapidly. Never before in history, oil wells have been exploited this much. As the demand increases, price gotta go high. That is the rule.

But this is not the only reason. There are many reasons, like tension in Arab countries, plummeting US dollar and Stock Markets. One other main reason is, during the previous down-cycle of the industry, no one took the initiative for the next up-cycle. So the oil companies are not able to tackle the demand.

What does this mean? It means that, the problem is a lot bigger than what we know. It means, the oil price will keep on increasing for years to come and there is nothing we can do about it. We just have to live with it, until the dependence on oil is reduced considerably. Tough times ahead of us for sure. There is one good thing though, Engineers in our sector, will have high demand for the next 30 years at least. (ya, i know i am being totally selfish here)

Recession in US ('?' or '.', am not sure..lets wait until june)

Recession is a tough concept to define. But one pretty simple way to identify the recession is negative GDP growth for two consecutive quarters. Most people, even the Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke, think Recession is on the way...


Well, this is really a bad news. but i cant understand one thing, how come people in America, all the Wall Street analysts, who are supposedly smart, missed to foresee the housing bubble? So this goes to say, nothing is completely foolproof.

A little background on Subprime crisis. In US, banks lend people money based on a very complex algorithm, that calculates every citizens "credit score". It takes into account, the number of previous defaults, your credit card transactions, house you live in, the car you drive, etc,etc and finally give a "Credit Score". Above 700, then you are in the Prime Market. You wont have any problem gettin a loan. But the tricky part is when you are below 700. That is the Sub-prime market. Basically a market with many defaulters, people who dont repay the loan properly. You might think, why in the world, do the banks lend money to people who they know are not going to repay the loan. That is where the Wall Street Analysts come in.

(Of course, we dont have any such complex system in India. SEBI and Satyam computers keep track of all the defaulters. The simpler the better, dont you think? )

When you lend money to someone, who you know is not going to repay properly and when the person also knows that and he is desperate for money, the banks have a leverage. They can charge him high interests. Really HIGH interest rate. In these kind of loans, the risk is high, but the returns are also high. Basic Risk analysis principle. Well, that is clear enough, why the banks lost billions and billions of money in this crisis. But how come Investment banks lost money?

The banks and mortgage companies issued "Mortgage backed Securities", as a measure to "distribute" the risk and eventually reduce the risk in their part. So basically all the companies which had invested in these securities lost all the money. Bear Sterns is a company that specialized in such securities. That is why the company went bankrupt. The crisis is not over. We are not even half-way thru it. The worst is yet to come.

Most banks are writing down their profits, which affects the Stock Market heavily. This it not the big problem. The biggest problem is that, people loose confidence. When they loose confidence in the system, they stop spending. When people stop spending money, the retailers stop stocking the products, the manufacturers stop producing the products. Can you see the negative cycle here ? This will lead to economic depression, which usually follows a recession.

This is seriously going to affect everything. There is a famous saying, "When America sneezes, we catch a cold". I am telling you, this is so true. When America sneezed, even pudukkottai (my hometown, soon going to be erased from the map of Tamilnadu, on the grounds of "practically non-existent" principles) caught a cold.

We cannot hope to avoid the crisis. We can only hope to get past this crisis atleast by 2009.

Movies this summer !!

I am really looking forward to this summer for the release of lots of interesting movies.
My ranking for the movies, based on how interesting and promising they sound to me

1. Dark Knight - Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale. And of course the Joker, one of the scariest villains of all times.
2. Mummy 3 - Mummy 1 and 2 were one of my favorite movies back then.
3. Wall - E - Just see the three trailers in "Apple Trailers" page and you will know why this is an interesting movie.
4. Hancock - I like Will Smith acting. And the trailer seems really cool. Looks like a pretty different plot.
5. Indiana Jones - Stephen Spielberg. This magic name is the reason.

Book Review: Imperial Life in the Emerald city

"Imperial Life in the Emerald city" by Rajiv Chandrasekaran


This book is the Newyork times best seller for two consecutive years. Also selected as one of the ten best books in the year of publishing. Needless to say more. And one more interesting fact, (which I learnt only after completing the book) is, this book is going to be a movie by name "Green Zone" with Matt Damon as hero and Paul Green Grass as director. Basically Bourne Legacy team. Then imagine the impact of the book.

Perfect screenplay for a movie. This books perfectly tells you, how the Americans were singing and dancing in the "pubs" created by Halliburton in the Green zone, while Baghdad was looted and torn apart. It perfectly paints the picture as to, how pathetically American Foreign Policy failed in Iraq. After reading the book, I agree that this is the worst failure for America with respect to Foreign policy, next comes Vietnam and then comes Cuba.

This tells the plight of the Iraq people and also, the carelessness of American Diplomats. When Timothy M.Carney, the then Minister of Industry in Iraq, under Paul Bremer, requested for information about the ministry that he was supposed to rebuilt, Washington sent him, a 3 page report, typed by an intern in White House. Remember, Ministry of industry in Iraq has 23 different sectors under its command. There were companies ranging from leather factories to battery manufacturing units. While Iraq was prosperous and when Saddam was "good", (which is basically the time before Iran war and Kuwait war, which btw put Iraq into a huge debt), Iraq actually exported its Vegetable Oil and Soap to India. Apparently these soaps were of number one quality and it was very famous in North India. During this Golden Period, Iraq's health care and Education systems was on par with Western World. Tap water was drinkable. You got Prada and Gucci in departmental store for damn cheap prices. Well, wat can you say ?

Now, Baghdad is torn apart by Al-Sadr Militia Group and many other such groups. There are 240,000 American troops in Iraq and the current government has already started withdrawing troops from Iraq, without full-filling any of their promises. The new Presidential hopefuls are all well prepared to withdraw troops immediately after they rise to power. Which means, Iraq will be looted more, more people will be killed and that kind of crime wouldn't have happened even if Saddam was alive. When Saddam was in power, even though he is a murderer and a culprit, one gallon of petrol was less than a nickel; School ran safely; there were no terrorist groups; army was very powerful; (this army will eventually be dismantled by Paul Bremer and will convert into the now Militia Groups, protesting against America. Greatest mistake he ever committed in his term as Iraq' Viceroy); people had drinking water and Electricity; People obeyed the laws; Police and Intelligence were efficient. But now, look at Iraq. Not many of us follow the news and killings in Iraq, because it is just like another Sri-Lanka. Everyday, someone dies. It is sad, but eventually we all get used to this. "Hmm, 20 ppl died in Iraq, ok then. What else is new today?" is our attitude. This is not our fault.

Another Huge Failure for American Foreign Policy... !! Who cares, In this modern world, with so much information and technology available, America will invade one other country in the near future. That will also be a huge debacle. Then they will ruin the country and make the lives of people even harder than it already is and no one will ask any questions !!

My next target, "Assassins Gate", a book about Saddam and post-war Iraq. Where assassins gate refers to the gate to the Saddam's Republic palace. Title is pretty good isnt it?

Vairamuthu - The Genius

என்றன் படத்தை இமைக்காமல் பார்தணைத்து
தென்றல் விழிக்குள்ளே தேங்கிவரும் - அன்பொழுக
என்னத்தான் வேண்டும் இனிஎன்பால்; நானவளை
எண்ணத்தான் வேண்டும் இனி.

Can you appreciate the beauty in the above verse ? We all know vairamuthu and how great poet he is in tamil. But we all see him only as a song writer for movies. But we miss the great poet in him. The lucrative Cinema, hides his real talents. He is one of those writers who cannot be confined to just movies.

I recently completed the book, வைரமுத்து கவிதைகள், a compilation of his poems , in 910 pages(of course i skipped poems that are very vague and skipped poems, that i really cannot understand). Worth all the time. I am pretty sure, that i am going to read it again. there is another poem, in which he talks about "kannagi". His views are very different. If you get a chance read it to appreciate it. The title is, கருப்பு நிலா. I cannot give that poem here, because it is really lengthy. But here is another sample, (about baby)

மோக் நாடக முடிவுரை சொல்லி
வேகமாய் வந்து விழுந்த சதைத்திரை
-----
இருளின் நிழலில் இருவிழி மூடி
இருவர் நடத்திய இன்ப வழக்கின்
விளக்கம் சொல்ல வெடித்த சாட்சி
பிளக்க கூடா வெண்ணிலா துண்டு
-----
தடுக்க கூடிய தவறு இருந்தாலும்
படுக்கை வகுப்பில் பருவம் நடத்திய
காமக் கணக்கில் கடைசி மிச்சம்
சாமக் கவிதையின் சரித்திரப் பக்கம்
-------
(And the following is my favorite in the same poem)
-------
விந்தை தின்று உயிர் விளைந்ததே அதுதான்
விந்தை மாபெரும் விந்தை மண்ணில்
விழுந்ததும் குழந்தை வேதனை பாடி
அழுவதும் முனகி அசைவதும் ஏனோ ?
மரணக் கணக்கில் மற்றும் ஓர் பெயரைக்
குறித்துக்கொள் என கூறத்தானோ ?

Amazing rite? and the following about water scarcity in india

உயிரை பிதுக்கும் கூட்டம் அவளை
ஒதுக்கி தள்ளுது வீதியிலே
மயங்கி விழுந்த மயிலின் முகத்தில்
நீர்த்துளி தெளிக்க நாதி இல்லை
மங்கை சுமந்த தங்க மண்குடம்
மண்ணில் சிதறி தெறிக்கிறது
கங்கை காவிரி இணைப்பு திட்டம்
கையெழுத்தில் தான் இருக்கிறது

There are many other great poems in his book. If you have interest in Tamil, no, தமிழ், read the book.

Book Review: The Life and times of the thunderbolt kid.

This is one of pretty good books, i read in recent days. I loved it. This book explains to you, how America was in the 50s. According to author, (and i accept, after reading the book), the best time to live in this world is US in the 50s.

I always regretted one thing about me. I almost forgot my childhood. I really cannot recall a significant thing in my childhood life. But this book, really reminded me of all the things i did in schooldays. If you wanna know how America became America, read this book.

One warning though, If you a kind of person, who don't like to laugh in public or who finds it a bit embarrassing, don't read this book in public. I was laughing so hard, passengers in the bus started to look at me differently. It was all worth it.